I was sat on the couch reading (scrolling) this evening when my wife called out from the other room. She wanted to know something: if I could design any bedroom, what is the bedroom that I’d design.

“Cave,” I answered, not certain how deep we’d go yet.

Apparently, we were going deeper. Way deeper.

What size was the cave?

“24 ft by 24 ft.”

And the height?

“12 ft.”

Too short.

“16 ft?”

Sounded right. Windows?

“Nope. Not in cave.”

I love these conversations that you get into when you’re in a relationship. Sometimes they’re a bit more abstract, like “would you still love me if I was a slug,” but other times they’re sort of practical like this one—even if someone always wants to live in a cave.

I’ll tell you about the rest of my cave bedroom:

  • The bed is in the middle of the room.
  • At the back is a floor to ceiling bookshelf.
  • Either side of the books: storage for clothes.
  • Underneath the books: drawers and shoes.
  • Small bedside tables (round) either side of bed.
  • Large mirror leaning against back-left wall.
  • Front-left: Eames Lounge Chair, lamp, table.
  • Front-right: large ladder for clean-ish clothes.
  • I said hamper next to ladder, but maybe not?
  • Maybe a plant instead of the hamper.
  • Right wall: big BIG piece of art (painting).
  • A rug (runner)… running in front of bookshelf.
  • Another rug (oval? Sort of?) in front of bed.
  • Double doors at front, right in the middle.
  • Oh, the doors are big, old, beautiful wood.
  • And that’s it? Or that was it. Not quite done.

It’s not really about the bedroom, though—even if my bedroom sounds amazing and regardless of the fact that caves are amazing in general—it’s about the countless creative hypotheticals that crop up throughout the years of a wonderful relationship (if you’re lucky—and I am).

It’s through conversations like these that we learn so much about one another. We learn about likes and dislikes, preferences, curiosities and—importantly—the love we didn’t realize that we could have toward a slug (and of course we’d love a slug; we’d love them as a slug).

This conversation today reminded me of just how much I know about my wife. Just how much I love my wife. How much she knows and loves me. Whether it’s about bedrooms, slugs or making furniture in the wilderness (just an example), I’m so thankful for each conversation.