Walking my dog (Cacio) this evening, I listened to the very first episode of This American Life. It’s actually the first time I’ve ever listened to it. I’ve heard snippets before, but hadn’t heard the first act at all.
Kevin Kelly (of Wired and more) tells the story of a deeply personal experience that he lived through as a young adult—the central idea being that he started to live his life as if he’d die in six months.
And I wouldn’t say it was a voice, but there was an idea that came into my mind that just would not go away, and that was that I should live as if I would die in six months, that I should really, truly live. And that I could not tell for certain whether I would really die, but that either way, I should live as if I was going to die. And so that was the assignment.
I’ll leave you to listen to the story yourself, but (regardless of the rest of it) this idea really stuck with me. I started to wonder whether I’d still do what I’m doing right now if I was going to die in six months.
I’m pretty terrified of mortality (to the extent that I use the term mortality instead of death because the latter just feels more visceral to me), so I already think about this idea a lot, but not so concretely.
That is, I try to “live as if I’ll die” (because I believe that it’s easy to fall into the trap off living as if you won’t), but I convince myself that it’s still a ways off. In reality, of course, there are no such guarantees.
Six months is long enough to not immediately fall into a pit of despair, but not long enough that you wouldn’t dramatically evaluate how you spend your waking hours. Not long enough to change nothing.
If you were going to die in six months, would you follow through with all of your current plans? Would you do the work you’re about to do? Would you hold that grudge, make that apology, read that book?
You don’t have to upturn your life or run into the hills, but I think asking some version of this question is a useful reset. A way to say no to those things that you really don’t want to do (and yes to the ones you do).