I was listening to Craig Mod on a couple of podcasts recently, and he mentioned a text file that he keeps on his computer titled “you’re not a piece of shit”. Fortunately or unfortunately for me, it really resonated.
This thought is brought to you today after spending a few hours feeling like a piece of shit, and then writing my (belated) morning pages and snapping myself out of it. I don’t claim to be special in not-so-occasionally feeling like a piece of shit—I’m sure many people do. Over the years I have felt it with annoying regularity, though.
In lieu of a specific (hopefully append-only) file, today’s morning pages entry was essentially a big brag file with a lot of swear words (perhaps influenced by my copy of “Do the Fucking Work” by GFDA sat on my desk). I started my morning pages feeling like a piece of shit, and ended feeling almost good about myself.
I’ll keep my brag file private for now, but it really drove home for me how powerful it can be to have one. I’m constantly hard on myself about the things that I haven’t yet done (and I do want to keep some of that energy), and rarely celebrate the things I’ve accomplished so far.
I’m sure that my speaking about morning pages will eventually bore people to death, but they do give me a chance to reflect on things like this every day. Having said that, I rarely remember what I wrote in the early haze of morning a few days later, and I almost found myself wanting to open a single file that reminded me: “hey, you’re not a piece of shit.”
If you’re feeling like a piece of shit, I strongly encourage you to write down all of the reasons that you’re not. You shouldn’t need to do that. It’s very likely that you’re not a piece of shit even without very specific counter-examples. For me though (and for the aforementioned Craig, though I’m sure it isn’t just a Craig thing), it can help.
So, at risk of swearing a couple too many times in this post: I’m not a piece of shit, and you’re not a piece of shit either. Be kind to yourself.