The weird thing about journaling publicly is that it’s sort of like my private journal. It’s day by day. I change my mind. Contradict myself. The stuff that we often edit out of whatever we share publicly. Surely I want to be seen as someone who’s consistent, principled, organized? I had thought so, but why? I much prefer when I see that someone is fallible, flawed… mortal.
One of the reasons I turned this daily blog into a daily journal was to observe my life and creative projects more plainly. To see what it is that I had to write about at the end of a day and ask myself whether I wished that I could have written something different. To read it as if I was someone else and ask: does this inspire me? Does it warm my heart? Sooth my nerves?
Today I went for a run in the hills with a friend—a ritual that I’m coming to appreciate more and more—then bought pastries, made coffee and relaxed on the couch with Aneesah and Cacio. Once we were well and ready, we drove into San Francisco to go thrifting, ending at a wine bar with good vibes that allowed dogs inside (so all three of us enjoyed cheese).
That felt like a full day to me. Family, friends, nature, movement… cheese. My body felt strong, my heart was full, and I felt such gratitude for the people in my life. When I sat down to write about the other part though—the work, my creative projects—I suddenly felt (just a little bit) bad about myself. I hadn’t made progress on the thing that I’d planned to.
As you’ll know if you’ve been reading, that thing is writing, recording and scoring audio stories, often-but-not-always inspired by the great Californian outdoors. It’s something I feel passionate about, but I’m not very skilled in yet. It’s just something I feel drawn to; compelled to do. I couldn’t even tell you why, it’s just a feeling or sense of purpose.
Increasingly, it overlaps with my day job in some way. It’s about stories and humanity and lived experience. It’s a skill I’ll build and can write about. There are other things that I want to do that feel just as close though, and where I already have skills—designing fonts, making software, working with language models. Things that I also want to spend time on.
So the thought I’ll end on for now: I don’t need to add constraints that only serve to limit what I do and make me feel bad about what I don’t do. I have many creative interests and I want to explore all of them. When I write about the work here, that work can be anything. I just want to keep making every day, and sharing what I make. That makes for a full day too.